Ed, for finishing with oil do not apply it to thick, I prefer BLO or Tung or teak or Danish oil over just ordinary linseed oil. I actually prefer Danish oil out of all of them. Ensure the wood to be oiled is finished as fine as you can get, no rag or tool marks and no sanding marks. ( a tip here is to damped the wood and sand again)Apply the oil and 20 minutes later wipe off the excess. Leave to dry for 24 hrs. Repeat. I routinely apply up to 25 coats for a top quality finish and then leave it to harden for a few days and then start adding you wax polish.
The oil actually does the sealing, I only use the wax to help prevent fingerprints . The oil should be fully dry before using the wax.
To help accentuate the grain try adding a colour wash, a yellow or green might work on Elm(french Elm has green flecks)dilute it down and give it time to dry before adding anything else/anymore stain.
Hope this is of help
Regards
John BHT