Author Topic: Important discussion document  (Read 338 times)

Offline BrianH

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Important discussion document
« on: January 10, 2021, 04:16:37 PM »
I wonder how many of you agree that:-
                               Charles Darwin had a suitable beard, intelect and dress sense to have been an active member of this forum?
                               He might have bored some of us rigid with his waffle about finch's beaks and the sailing qualities of a beagle?
                               We would still have made him welcome, in spite of his well documented habit of opening paint tins with a skew?
                               He would have made a far better job, than I, of writing up the following addendum to his work, 'The Origins of Species'?

It took me all of two and a bit lockdowns to realise that there are, in fact, two distinct species of modern day woodturner. They seem to have split from a common(as muck!) ancestor 'Woody Bodgacticus' sometime during the cantancorous period. The two surviving species look very similar and inhabit the same kind of habitat but have never been known to interbreed. They sometimes appear to share mancaves and, while frustrations between the two have been noted there are no reports of visible aggression.
The first, and probably most numerous, species is 'Woody Perfectacus'. This creature is rarely observed without an immaculate drawing, either carefully drawn by himself or lifted from a well respected publication. He stacks his, usually storebought, blanks in neat heaps, carefully tabulated by species, rather than size, and, when actually making shavings, employs engineer's methods and measuring instruments. After much, intricately documented, observation it is now well accepted, in most circles anyway, that he/she apparently, considers absolute precision to be the main, or only, measure of success.
The second, lesser, species is 'Woody Seatofpantsii' There appears to be far fewer in the wild and it has been thought that the species, as a whole, might be on the verge of extinction.
This beast makes similar shavings to 'Perfectacus' but works in totally chaotic surroundings, measures almost nothing and relies on his sharper eye for proportion. To him the 'appearance' of any piece is the only thing that matters. He often starts with no idea whatsoever what he is about to make. He wanders, apparently aimlessly, around his untidy wood pile until a mental connection is made, for no apparent reason, with a blank or log of unknown species or condition. He then starts the conversion process with, apparently, no end result in mind, letting the wood have at least as much influence, as himself, over the final artifact. Because of his lack of pencil sharpening 'Seatofpantsii' tends to have a more time effecient method of working (not counting the inordinate time he spends looking for lost stuff among the knee-deep shavings!) and spends more time actually turning. But, with his habit of choosing less than perfect blanks in the first place, lands up with a similar number of useful finished pieces as 'Perfectacus'. But, of course, he always has a much larger and more attractive firewood pile for his mate to admire. This leads to more regular matings. Is this why 'Seatofpantsii' has a more smiley countenance?

Before forwarding this addendum to David Attenborough, The Royal Society and my publishers I would like to extend an invitation to my peers for their thoughts and reviews?
Stay safe
Brian
PS
Which species are you?????

Offline bodrighywood

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Re: Important discussion document
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2021, 11:01:15 PM »
I  am indubitably of the 2nd species though I have the good fortune to have a level of cross communication with another off shoot of the Woody Bodgacticus'family who is related to the Woody Perfectacus branch albeit more to do with the distant hybrid furnituritus perfectacus. This is a female branch that has the ability to steer and direct the lesser Woody Seatofpantsii branch of the species. I do feel also that this branch is not so much on the verge of extinction as being a master / mistress of disguse and this can result in producing work that can often equal or even surpass that of the perfecticus branch without displaying the chaotic path that is taken to acheieve said result.

Pete
Turners don't make mistakes, they have design opportunities

Offline Twisted Trees

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Re: Important discussion document
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2021, 01:20:00 AM »
Another member of  'Woody Seatofpantsii' here, though I do have occasional back of envelope scribbling tendencies which I ascribe to strange life (pre retirement) contamination of the purity of my species. This is offset by my desire to make shavings only being forced to stop by the annoying emergence of a pleasing shape in the scrap offcut under the shavings layer.

I do feel that Pete is on to something with the hiding in plain sight theory, I suspect that there may be several woodstores with a pretend stack of perfect labelled  blanks visible when the door is at the right angle disguising the chaotic stack of bits of "could be interesting"  timber that actually fills the majority of every off camera corner.
TT, AKA Pete, but that name is taken :-)

Offline BrianH

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Re: Important discussion document
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2021, 10:17:40 AM »
Being far too tight to actually buy blanks I had no idea there was a black market in 'Under the counter' woody bits. Is that what they call 'Sawnography'?
Brian

Offline seventhdevil

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Re: Important discussion document
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2021, 10:35:35 AM »
eeeerrm, i must be a bastard of both species as i have both habits and many traits of either species and have had all through my woodworking life.

either that or i'm an unclassified different species altogether (not surprised if i was to be the missing link) as i have lots of other habits that are not included in the description.

Offline BrianH

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Re: Important discussion document
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2021, 09:58:01 AM »
As many of you must have guessed I wrote the original post with a specific 'Perfectacus' in mind. He contacted me yesterday and told me that after reading it and recognising himself he tried to work his latest project without a blueprint. Guess what? He had to give up the attempt, midway, to sharpen his favourite pencil. Can we read into this extensive data that 'Perfececus-ism' is down to nature not nurture?
Keep giggling vaccine is on the way
Brian
PS
Have you noticed that 'Seatofpantsii' is the only Woody species willing to come out of the closet?

Offline bodrighywood

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Re: Important discussion document
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2021, 10:00:36 AM »
Actually I was in the process of building the closet so was rendered exposed initially.

Pete
Turners don't make mistakes, they have design opportunities

Offline BrianH

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Re: Important discussion document
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2021, 11:17:04 PM »
ROLL UP, Roll up, roll up.
This is the sight of the century.
Come on folks dont miss Pete being rendered in his self-made closet......
Brian