Author Topic: The wierdest commision.......or do you know better?  (Read 5592 times)

Offline The Bowler Hatted Turner

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Re: The wierdest commision.......or do you know better?
« Reply #15 on: October 23, 2019, 09:34:31 AM »
Not an odd commission but an odd the shop I had a couple of boxes made from Walnut and I put an alternative Ivory lid on top with a small knob from Af Blackwood. Dinky little pieces just the tight size for tourists. My shelves are near to the cash desk and I overheard one woman, after placing her hands on the lid, telling her friend how wrong it is to kill Elephants for their Ivory and that she could feel (!) the spirit of the animal screaming because of the loss of its tusk. The look on her face and the giggles from other customers present was priceless as I informed her that it was made from resin.

Offline John Plater

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Re: The wierdest commision.......or do you know better?
« Reply #16 on: October 23, 2019, 09:46:54 AM »
Another odd customer story. The lady was not allowed to purchase the piece until the partner had caressed the bowl and declare that it had good spirit and was ready to leave me, the maker  :)
ATB John
If I had a better lathe, I would be able to show my ineptitude more effectively.

Offline BrianH

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Re: The wierdest commision.......or do you know better?
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2019, 12:04:51 PM »
Having started this thread I suppose I should now come clean with a warning about the inherent dangers of turning mushrooms...…

About 3.5 yonks ago (back in the days when 'Hot' and 'Cool' were opposites!) I met a sailing friend of mine on the river and he asked me if, while doing that 'latheing' business (his word not mine!), I could make a  mushroom.
"Easy peasy beginners project," says I, "why?"
"My daughter has started a collection and would love a wooden one".
"Is that the daughter whose other half builds 3 wheeler motor bikes?" I asked.
"The very same".
I, foolishly as it turned out, offered a collectable mushroom in exchange for a ride on a trike and went about my business ignorant of the jeopardy I had just put my dignity in.
I made and delivered a handful of differently styled mushrooms and promptly forgot every word of the rest of the deal.

Many weeks later I was at home swotting for my upcoming 'Old Fartdom' entry exams when the quaint sound of a Spitfire crash landing in our road drew my attention. On closer examination I found a vehicle whose supercharged V8 engine was longer, and taller, than my car and its rear tyres looked like a rubber version of those found on a steam roller.
No rider/driver could possibly reach over the engine so it was steered by a cute little wheel no bigger than the old half crown. In short the motor-bike-with-an-extra-wheel I had expected had morphed into a one-wheel-short dragster.
I was instantly hussled onto the rear seat (two bits of ply and a cushion... Why are so many engineers so frightened of working with wood?) and we set off in fits and starts of jawdropping acceleration intersperced with braking which risked my dentures, through the town and onto the local bypass.
A cold sweat has come over me as I expunge the memory of that trip: No helmet, no jacket, no goggles and, so I was assured afterwards, 140 MPH. I would rather describe my laundry problems in public than to relive those 15 minutes of sheer terror.
I was dropped uncerimoniously at home, ashen faced and jelly legged, and the 3 wheeled appirition disappeared in a cloud of fumes... I never even discovered the driver's name!     
I did, however notice the name of the supercharged monster?  'THE BLOW JOB'! What else could it be?

All the best

Offline burywoodturners

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Re: The wierdest commision.......or do you know better?
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2019, 07:36:06 PM »

Last club night a request for a wood turner came through the counter staff, (we meet in a toy tool shop) It passed through the chairman's hands and eventually to me . It was for the making of a pair of curtain rod finials, easy i thought, not really taking in the dimensions...
The customer brought the wood to me later and my heart sank, as they were two 150mm 150mm blocks of poplar, consisting of layers of 50mm planks glued together. The plan was to turn two 150mm balls with  a 115mm diameter hole for the curtain rod.

This pushed the limits of my lathe and at times of me as well.

I was well afraid of what might happen if the block was out of balance when i started the lathe so I took the guard and drive belt of and spun it by hand and letting it stop and marking the  heavy spot and chipping the heavy part away. I stood well to one side with one finger on the start button and another on the stop button! they were both in balance after that so I was able to turn it to round.

After some really hard work and a lot of shavings I eventually made the balls above.

My customer was highly delighted and claimed they were the best finials, but to date all he has seen is the photo....

He said the next job for him was to make the steel frame to support it all I asked if it was for a theatre and he sad it was for a private house.