Author Topic: Joke  (Read 29180 times)

Offline bodrighywood

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Re: Joke
« Reply #30 on: July 08, 2015, 04:40:54 PM »
In that case


I haven't spoken to my mother - in - law for two years.  We haven't quarreled.  I just don't like to interrupt her.

Pete
Turners don't make mistakes, they have design opportunities

Offline Mark Sanger

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Re: Joke
« Reply #31 on: July 08, 2015, 04:42:11 PM »
So Mother in law jokes are PC are they ::) ::) ::)

Regards George

Oh dear George if you have to ask me that their is no hope for you  :)

It is not implying the mother in law is stupid, daft, lesser than the father in law, it is not saying that due to her hair colour she fell down the well, it is a statement that the person (which is not specific to any negatives about that person was in any way due to her falling down the well)  was just mother in law.

It was so easy and I thought you were a fisherman.  





Offline Graham

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Re: Joke
« Reply #32 on: July 08, 2015, 04:42:30 PM »
It's equality that counts. Equal rights for all.
If a mother in law has the right to fall down a well then so should the Father in law.

<that was funny when I thought it. Not sure now  :)>
Regards
Graham
I have learnt the first rule of woodturning.
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Offline Mark Sanger

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Re: Joke
« Reply #33 on: July 08, 2015, 04:43:51 PM »
 When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''

Offline Mark Sanger

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Re: Joke
« Reply #34 on: July 08, 2015, 04:45:35 PM »
It's equality that counts. Equal rights for all.
If a mother in law has the right to fall down a well then so should the Father in law.

<that was funny when I thought it. Not sure now  :)>


I am sure if it was a lady that told the joke at the time and not Tommy Cooper then it would have been Father in Law. But then if it is equality we may be being prejudiced about only including people that are directly related through married  
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 04:52:07 PM by Mark Sanger »

Offline Mark Sanger

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Re: Joke
« Reply #35 on: July 08, 2015, 04:48:15 PM »
Q: What should you give a man who has everything?

A: A woman to show him how to work it.


Offline Mark Sanger

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Re: Joke
« Reply #36 on: July 08, 2015, 04:58:48 PM »
'I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one". '

Offline TONY MALIN

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Re: Joke
« Reply #37 on: July 08, 2015, 06:09:29 PM »
The funniest thing on here is the way George gets them to take the bait. Remember "who's Ray Key" !

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Re: Joke
« Reply #38 on: July 08, 2015, 06:20:56 PM »
Who started this??????

Here's A heartwarming story...

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw
two men along the road-side eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,
" the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there,
under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife
and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no ! easy task, even for a car as large
as the limousine was.
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind."
"Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.
You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."
* * * * * * * *

OK -- come on now! ... you really didn't think there was really such a thing as a heart-warming lawyer story ... did you????

Andy

Offline Mark Sanger

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Re: Joke
« Reply #39 on: July 08, 2015, 06:27:45 PM »
The funniest thing on here is the way George gets them to take the bait. Remember "who's Ray Key" !

That's certainly one of the best jokes posted so far Tony

Offline TONY MALIN

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Re: Joke
« Reply #40 on: July 08, 2015, 06:33:49 PM »
Why do I feel as if I'd been bitten by a shaggy dog?

How far can a rabbit run into a wood ? Halfway.

Constantinople is a very long word can you spell it?

Offline fuzzyturns

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Re: Joke
« Reply #41 on: July 08, 2015, 07:06:23 PM »
OK, so lawyers are fair game, too?

What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in concrete? Not enough concrete.

Offline burywoodturners

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Re: Joke
« Reply #42 on: July 08, 2015, 07:48:38 PM »
Mark, what you give to a man who has everything is a shed to put it in,
Ron

Offline Bryan Milham

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Re: Joke
« Reply #43 on: July 08, 2015, 08:26:00 PM »
Here's a joke of all you mind readers out there...

...


Oh Lord, Lead me not into temptation…

...Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut!

Offline TONY MALIN

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Re: Joke
« Reply #44 on: July 08, 2015, 08:27:44 PM »
and a box of matches to his wife. Safety matches of course as laid down in his risk assessment, labelled 'keep out of reach of the children'